George’s first diary Essay

We’re here now, at the ranch. Our new home, for the time being anyway, until Lennie messes up again! He’s always messing up, losing us our jobs! Stay here, and save the money here instead of always being on the run. He made us lose our last job. That’s why we had to leave. You see, Lennie loves soft things; he loves to stroke them and hold them. One day he saw a girl with a soft dress on. Of course, the first thing Lennie does is touch it. The girl doesn’t realise how stupid he is, (and simple) and thinks he’s going to rape her and she screams. Lennie, being the idiot that he is just holds on and rips the dress! So, that leads to us being chased by a lot of angry people! Now we have to start all over again. If only he weren’t with me. Aw hell, I can’t say that. He’d die without me. And I don’t reckon I’d be doing that great without him either. Who would I have to talk to? Well anyway, on the way to the ranch, the bus driver, being a lazy bastard, wouldn’t take us all the way. We didn’t want to walk all night so we stayed in the brush until morning. It was just a little clearing in the woods with a stream running through it. I told Lennie that if he got in trouble he should come there. Its safe and hidden away so I could easily find him! But if it comes to that, if he messes up again. I’ll kill him, I’m sure I will. I’ve had my full of him and I don’t think I have much patience left! Oh yeah, he made me tell him yet again about the house we’re gonna get. Him and his rabbits. He always makes me remind him about our house and his damned rabbits! I love thinking about what our life will be like too when we get the house but he drives me crazy, having to remind him every two seconds. The thing I’m most looking forward to is not being told what to do. Being my own boss! I can’t wait. We met our workmates today. They seem okay. We got a nigger working with us too. Haven’t met him yet. There’s a guy called Candy. He’s pretty old and a right gossip. Seems nice enough though! The boss seems okay too. Candy says he’s real generous! Though how much I can trust what he says, I don’t know! Curley the boss’s son, on the other hand, he’s horrible. Reminds me of a troublemaker and all the other workers seem to agree! He took one look at us, especially Lennie and started to make trouble. I don’t like the look of him, I just don’t know what I’m gonna do if he starts any trouble. Lennie’s dangerous. This Curley’s married too. Met his wife! A right piece of jailbait if ever I seen one! Lennie liked her. I’ll have to make sure he stays right out her way. She gonna cause us trouble otherwise, I can feel it. Met Slim too. Hell of a nice guy, he is. Seems well respected too. Real nice. I do like having nice workmates but it is worrying, knowing that there’s an evil bastard lurking ’round too! I’ve a bad feeling ’bout Curley, its real bad. George Georges second diary Dear Diary, What a heck of a day! It started off so well. I knew that Curley would be trouble, I said it. He ruined what could’ve been a good day. Started off well. Got to know Slim a little, or, well, he got to know me better. There must be something good about Slim, I must have sensed it ‘coz I told him things ’bout Weed and ’bout the house we’re saving for. He understood Lennie didn’t mean no harm in Weed. He’s fair and knows a ‘nice fella’ when he meets one. He also has a dog. It had pups so I got one for Lennie. Aw, he was so pleased. Petting it and hugging it. I’m a bit worried that he’s gonna pet it too much. Lennie just don’t know his own strength Goddamn it! I felt so sorry for Candy today. You see, he’s got a dog too, but his is old and tired. It’s like Candy’s best friend. Well, Carlson started complaining about the smell of him (the dog) then started talkin’ ’bout shooting him, putting him out of his misery he said. I suppose I agreed at the time but seeing Candy’s face was enough to change anyone’s mind. Slim suggested he have one of the puppies but I’m not sure whether he decided to. Well anyways, Lennie and I thought we were the only ones in the bunkhouse, where we sleep. The others went off to see Curley have a pop at Slim; he thought his wife was with him. I notice he never seems to be able to find her, though she’s always lookin’ for him. So Lennie and I get talking ’bout our house we’re saving for. What we didn’t know was that Candy was there too! Well, I was a bit wary at first. Worried that he would tell the others but then he decided that he wanted to be part of it. Even said he’d put up over half the money we needed! It was great. In a matter of minutes we went from just talking about it, to it being a fast-coming reality! I told him to keep it to himself for the time being until we were ready. It was so exciting. Then, in come Curley and the others and Curley’s ready for a fight. Slim was shouting at him of sleeping with his wife. Anyways, dopey old Lennie’s still sitting there smiling away to himself about the thought of his rabbits, and Curley notices and thinks he’s mocking him and of course picks a fight. He starts punching poor Lennie, and Lennie having listened real hard to what I told him was not fighting back! After a while, I told Lennie to fight back. I couldn’t bear it. He was just yelping like a dog. Anyways, he got scared and just held on tightly to the closest thing at hand, Curley’s fist. He just wouldn’t let go. It was bleeding and everything. We got him off in the end and blackmailed Curley to say he got it caught in a machine. I don’t like this place. It smells of trouble. I can tell. George Crook’s diary Dear Diary, Here I am. Just another day of either being ignored or picked on ‘coz of me being a Negro. I hate this. Day in day out. It’s not fair the way I’m ignored. The others say I smell but I wash more than they all do. My back hurts too. Its seems like its getting worse every day. The liniment don’t seem to be much use either. They call me Crooks too. That ain’t my name. It’s not what my mother gave me and I don’t like it. I can’t say nothing though, I’m just a nigger they keep tellin’ me. I gots a room to myself and I have no one to talk to or play cards with. I’m not even allowed to borrow their cards to play solitaire. It smells in my room. All the shit is kept just under my window and on those hot days, the steam rises into my room and rests on my sheets ready to smother me as I go to sleep. I got another tellin’ off today too. Curley’s hand got hurt in a machine and the boss o’ course blames me. Likes I did it! Not that I wouldn’t mind ruffin’ him a little. He’s a nasty asshole and needs to be brought down a bit. I’d get hung if I did it so I s’pose I better leave to the white men! They all gone to the town today. Their regular Cathouse visit. I’d never be allowed in one of those, at least I don’t reckon I would. They never asked me to go with ’em so I never went. Just in me room, on me lonesome, rubbing me back†¦.. †¦.. Lennie and Candy jus’ been in here! I was a bit funny at first ‘coz I thought Lennie was coming for trouble but no, he said the others had gone and he had jus’ been with his pup. Him and his pup! Oh boy. He loves it so much but he’s not careful. Those big hands o’ his are likely to break that pup one day if he ain’t careful. Anyways, I said he could come in and we got to talking a little. He’s a bit slow. He don’t remember anything you tell him. Just talks ’bout George and his rabbits he’s gonna get when they get a house. He’s all set on getting a house. He wants to tend rabbits! Whenever the subject changed to something other than those rabbits, he went straight back to ’em like we’d been talking ’bout ’em all the time! He’s awful fond o’ that George one. I just said one tiny little thing ’bout George not coming back from town and he went mad. Like I jus’ told him someone had died or something. It took a while to calm him down. Then, Candy comes in too. He’s by my room and I ask him what he wants. I thought he may o’ been wanting to talk too but he was just looking for Lennie. He came in too, though. They talked to each other most but it was nice them just being there. Well, they were talking ’bout their house. Candy was gonna go there too. I thought that I’d ask if I could help. They wouldn’t have to pay me o’ course, just put me up, but before they could answer that bitch walked in. She’s trouble if ever I did see it. She asking ’bout Curley and where he’s at but she knows where! I don’t understand these white folk. Talk about them being so educated and well learned and they ask such stupid questions! Anyways, I asked her to go away real politely mind, the same way any of the boys round here say it when they know she’s looking for trouble. She does her nut and starts yelling ’bout needing people to talk to too! Then she starts telling me she’s gonna tell the boss I been doing bad things and get me strung up. I don’t want to be strung up so I shut up. Candy was nice though. He told her that if she did that he would stick up for me. I ain’t ever known anyone to stick up for me before. Candy then said, when she’d gone, that the boys were coming back. I told ’em they better go. I didn’t want all of those white fellas thinking they can bother me when they like. I gotta have some rights even if I don’t like ’em. I dunno. It’s been a funny day that’s all. I better get back to my liniment. That back o’ mine is just murder. Georges last diary Dear diary, This has been the worst day I’ve ever had and I don’t think I’m’ a ever gonna have a worser one. I had to do it. It weren’t nothing evil. I di’nt wanna hurt him. He was my only friend, more like family and I feel jus’ awful. If you coulda seen her, what he did. If only you coulda seen the other option he woulda had. Curley’s evil way. I suppose I woulda done the same in his place but Lennie di’nt do no harm. At least he never meant none. I feel awful, just awful. He never meant no harm. They may o’ been nice? No, that’s stupid talk. Tha’s the kinda thing Lennie woulda said! He’s a crazy bastard. I mean he was. Oh I feel awful. What will I do now? What can I do? I s’pose the only thing to do is to spend my money the way anyone else would, if they di’nt have a Lennie with ’em. We were just having a game o’ horseshoe. Lennie was in the barn with that damn pup I reckon. I’d left him in the bunkhouse but he ended up there. Anyways, we were all playing and I had no thought to what he was doing. The next thing I knew, Candy was looking all pale and calling me over to the barn. For a second I thought she was just resting. It was the look on Candy’s face that made me guess. I knew what he was thinking and I knew he was right. She was lying there, that good for nothing piece of jailbait, her neck all twisted and face down in the straw. Lennie did it. Crazy bastard. I knew he was the only one, but to think of it was killing me from the inside. I ain’t never felt that before. I suppose in the back of my mind, I always knew he would go too far, that he wasn’t safe and should not o’ been left alone. But I di’nt wanna think like that. Now I had to. From that moment I knew what I had to do and just set about doing it. I knew that I had to get to him before them. I told Candy to make out I never saw this and tell the others and then fetch me. I had to go to the bunkhouse and get Carlson’s Luger. I wasn’t completely sure why first but I realised when I saw him. Candy said he’d do that and I ran out. Next time I saw her ever’ one was there too blaming Lennie for ever’ thing. Curley was shook up and was ready to explode. He scared me looking like that but I had to keep my cool. I had to make it like I was on their side, out to kill for murder. That word sends shivers down me and I know I done it too now. Lennie always said we were the same. All of them ran to get guns to help out Curley. Two-faced that’s what they are. One minute they’re complaining about him and the next they are trying to be his best friend betraying their true friend. Oh I can’t blame ’em really if it weren’t Lennie I reckon I woulda done it too. Anyway Carlson never found his gun. They all thought Lennie had it. Only I knew that Lennie wasn’t so clever to think forward like that! Slim knew what I was doing though. He knew well enough. His face said he knew and was ready to do what he knew was best. I sent Curley in the other direction to where I knew Lennie was. He woulda gone to the brush like I told him too. He always tried to do what I told him. I ran off and found him straight. He was sitting there by the river and was talking to something. He kept saying sorry: Saying he knew I would look after him. He made me tell him about our house for what was to be the last time. I mentioned it, and, he heard it. I told him not to look at me. I was trying to be a man but I couldn’t control my eyes. I was shaking too. I don’t want to write his last moments. I don’t want to have this later and be reminded of the moment my life as I knew it ended. I want to remember Lennie as the Lennie I knew. Not the one I saw moments later. That Lennie will go from me. If I still believed in God (a part of me that was there but now has gone) I would pray to ask Lennie to forgive me but I know that he cannot be in my life because he let this happen. If Lennie was ever here and I could talk to him once more, I’d tell him that I didn’t mean what I said about not wanting him there. That now he isn’t, I feel lost. And last, that he was my friend; my best friend and I wish he was still here.